Having a baby is a very important time in our life. A long time before the baby is born, we begin to make decisions that will alter what we do for the rest of our lives.
We want to make sure that everything is just right for the arrival and we also plan for any issues that may come up along the way. One of those issues is the remote possibility that something will go wrong during the delivery.
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Although we don’t like to think about it, it’s important to consider the possibility. We all need to make decisions, and one woman made the decision to ask her husband to choose her life over the baby.
There was so much discussion about that decision that she decided to go on Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong. As you can imagine, there were many opinions.
Here is what she wrote:
So my daughter was born 2 years ago, I had a very good pregnancy but develop gestational diabetes at 32 weeks (due to me being overweight I was checking my sugar levels every other day). Due to this my OBGYN schedule a cesarean I didn’t have any issues with this I just wanted my baby to be born safely. So before going in to the hospital I talked with my husband that if something where to happened and he needed to choose between myself and our baby to please choose me. He got quiet but said that he agreed and that please let me mother know about what we talked.
Everything went according to plan and both of us where completely fine.
Now fast forward to now trying for number two and in a Christmas party with my girlfriends the topic was brought up about babys. There’s another friend that is also trying so the topic of conversation was on that for a good hour.
When my friend ask me that if I was ready for another 9 months of pregnancy and how I felt. I answer truthfully cause honestly I was just letting all the fears and doubts go.
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I said that I do want another baby and that pregnancy doesn’t scare me such as giving birth again. I said that I straight told my husband again that I’m scared that something may happened to me during the birth and in the hopes of giving my daughter a sibling I could leave her without a mother. That the original agreement stands that he needs to choose me if that’s the case.
My friends where disgusted with my thinking and said that i was an asshole to my husband in asking him to basically kill his baby (those where the exact words), that I was a very negative person and that I needed to rethink my thoughts. I’m a person that likes to be prepared for the worse case scenario and hope for the best. I didn’t want my husband to be blindsided with who to choose and to have the answer on the spot. Nobody likes to think in what could go wrong specially in a pregnancy but I need to think every possible case that we could encounter.
So Reddit AITA!?
Edit: so this blew up, just to clarify some points
1-English is not my first language
2-I say Christmas party but this was at a friends house every year we ( work friends, 8 people) meet to celebrate the end of the year we talk about everything. I have yet to talk to them since this happened I didn’t want to create a scene. It did affect me that they think I’m such a negative person but I will talk with them.
3- yes I’m overweight and I had an almost perfect pregnancy. People telling me to loose some weight before having another baby, thank you! I didn’t though of that before how enlightening! Also why do people want to know how much I weight? If you don’t know GD can affect any woman that is not overweight yes you have a better chance to have it but not only overweight woman develop it.
4- yes I know this scenario is not a likely one anymore due to the advances in medicine, but giving birth is a serious things, so many things can go wrong in an instant an I wanted to be prepared for it.
5- my thinking was, if something happened to us (me and baby) and my husband had to choose, either way his decision will be judge by my family. What if I died and he had to tell my parents sorry but I choose the baby. That’s why he asked me to tell my mom of what we had agree to. When the conversation was brought up my husband said he thought the same thing, he asked himself what would he do in that case and said that he was feeling awful cause he knew he wanted to save me but didn’t know how to tell me.
So my husband wasn’t force or I made the decision for him. Also we did talked about if I end up in a ventilator or coma or anything like that I left instructions.6- this is not a pro-life click bait or anything related to that.
7- people don’t like to think about the bad stuff during pregnancy but the risks for the mother are massive, your body goes under so much. It also takes a mental toll on you.
8- also people that are saying that if I’m not prepared to die for my baby I shouldn’t be a mother are TA.
9- just some facts for you According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 700 women die in childbirth every year, and over 50,000 more nearly die, experiencing “severe maternal morbidity,” most often due to complications from severe bleeding.
Thank you reddit!
