Elementary Teacher Asks Kids to Write About the Ocean, Instantly Regrets It

Teachers have a difficult job, don’t they? In the midst of this pandemic, I’ve seen countless parents who are new to homeschooling saying that they’re personally going to lobby for teachers to get raises once kids get back into school again. Not only do teachers have to please the administration, but they also have to cater to kids and difficult parents. I have friends who are teachers and they say it definitely has its ups and downs. However, they also express just how joyous it can be sometimes. When you’re working with kids, it’s never a dull moment, that’s for sure. We don’t know if the story below is true, but it’s going around social media. Apparently a teacher asked kids to write about the ocean and ended up getting the shock of her life. Enjoy!

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2. If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Alex, age 7)

3. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5. A dolphin breaths through an a**hole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10. Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)

15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

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