If you spend any amount of time around children, then you don’t need me to tell you that there’s no way of knowing what’s going to come out of their mouths. With kids, what you see is what you get and while you’ll get a lot of surprises, you’ll always know you’re getting pure honesty. Children are guileless and free of deceitfulness. You’ll occasionally run across a sneaky kid who has learned how to get over on adults, but they’re rare. That kind of skill is something that’s learned, and isn’t innate. The phrase that goes around is “out of the mouths of babes.” It refers to the way children can simplify a complex issue and break it down so that it seems to be a no-brainer. The funny jokes below are just like that. If you’re looking for an honest answer or a simple solution, look to the kids.
1.
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing a picture of God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
2.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.’
The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’
The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him.’
3.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
4.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
5.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, “Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face.”
“Yes, sir,” the class said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
Bobby shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
6.
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Someone had written a note and placed it next to the apples. It read, “Take only one, God is watching.” Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One little boy wrote his own note and snuck it next to the cookies, “Take all you want, God is watching the apples.”
