When it comes to sibling order, there are some things that are absolute and concrete. One of those things is that the younger siblings will invariably take cues from the older siblings and copy them as they get older. This is a natural process. We emulate those who we admire and learn from previous generations. I learned a long time ago that anything I do can have an effect on how the people who look up to me behave. I learned this with my siblings and also with my own children. Also, if you have an older child, a good way to instill in them a sense of responsibility is to remind them that the younger ones are watching them and learning from them. This can profoundly affect how your teenagers behave if they have younger siblings. We don’t know if the story below is true, but the wisdom in it is certainly true and anyone with kids should read this. Enjoy.
I’m the oldest of three kids. I’m older than my little brother by 2.5 years and my little sister by 9.
When I was about fourteen or so, arguing with my dad in private about something I don’t remember, he, being the second-oldest of eight kids, told me:
“Any decision you make in this household, you make three times. Once when you make it, once when your brother makes the same decision after watching you do it, and once when your sister makes the same decision after watching you and your brother do it. How you treat your brother will tell him how he can treat your sister; and how you treat your sister tells her how she will expect to be treated for the rest of her life, even as far as her future boyfriends.”
That kinda shook me up and made me rethink my role as the oldest child; I started taking my responsibilities as the role model a lot more seriously after that.
Even when you aren’t trying to actively influence those around you, those who look up to and respect you will still base their decisions, in part, on how they’ve seen you handle similar situations.
If you break down and get stressed and angry when something inconvenient happens, they’ll feel better doing the same when something similarly small happens to them. But if you keep your cool in a dire situation and under a lot of stress, it can inspire them to believe they can do the same.
