Romantic relationships aren’t easy. They may seem effortless at first, but the fact is, we’re all individuals who are growing every day (ideally) and adjusting to making life work with other human beings. If you want to have a successful and fulfilling relationship, both people have to work hard at it. A huge part of what makes a person feel fulfilled in a relationship is acceptance: does this person accept you for who you are? As the British say, “warts and all.” If you genuinely love someone, you see beyond superficial things and look to the person underneath. If you find yourself in a relationship where everything about a person bothers you, why be in the relationship?
Most importantly, if you’re in a relationship with an overly critical person, you need to move on for your own emotional well-being. Subjecting yourself to excess criticism is damaging. A young woman named Brittaney Lynn Shane opened up on Facebook about her ex-boyfriend who left her for a “younger, prettier girl.” Brittaney says that at first, she blamed herself for the failure of the relationship and for everything that went wrong when she and her ex were together. According to Brittaney, he didn’t like anything about her and constantly criticized her and tried to get her to change. From her hair color, to how long it was, to her stretch marks, and even her tattoos and piercings. It seemed to Brittaney that he liked nothing about her. You can read her full post below.
You always told me I didn’t look good with long hair, and that you preferred girls with short hair, so I kept my hair cut above my shoulders at all times. You laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous when I dyed my hair red when we were together. So a week later, I dyed it back blonde.
You would always point out if I was wearing too much makeup. (Winged eyeliner and mascara most of the time)
So I just stopped wearing it.
You told me tattoos and piercings were tacky and ugly and would try to take out my belly button ring every time you saw it.
So I took out my piercings and didn’t get any more tattoos.
You pointed out my stretch marks every chance you got. So I did my best to keep them hidden.
You pointed out every time I looked like I had gained weight. So I started eating less every day.
You pointed out every single flaw I had. So I lost every bit of confidence I had.
I did everything I could to be what you wanted. I did everything you told me to do. It still wasn’t good enough. You left me for a younger prettier girl. Someone you could mold and shape into what you wanted. Like you tried to do with me. And up until a few months ago, I blamed myself for everything that happened. You blamed me too.
But finally, I started to see the truth. You weren’t out of my league. I was out of yours. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t good enough for you. You were the one who wasn’t good enough for me. You couldn’t accept me for who I was. When I took you the way you were.
So now here I am a few months later. My hair is past my shoulders. My hair is bright red. I’ve got a new tattoo. New piercings. Started wearing makeup again. I eat whatever I want whenever I want and weigh 135 pounds. I still have my stretch marks.
And I’ve finally gotten my confidence back. I finally see myself looking back at me when I look in the mirror.
It’s so hard for me to come out about this and admit that I became so vulnerable because of one guy. Something I always said would never happen. It’s humiliating to even think about how low I got. But what gives me the guts to come out about this is the fact that I overcame it and I’m finally back to who I really am. – Feeling free.
https://www.facebook.com/brittaney.shane/posts/990107851055229
Here’s the deal. Everyone has annoying habits. If we can make adjustments in the way we do things so that we can accommodate the needs of other people, that’s fine. Go for it, as long as it doesn’t take anything away from you. Life and relationships are all about compromise. However, asking someone to change things about themselves that are beyond their control, or asking someone to sacrifice things about themselves that they value, is going over the line. Since posting her angst on Facebook, Brittaney has received an outpouring of support as her post went viral. Her boyfriend spiraled her into a state of confusion and self-doubt, but at the end of it all, Brittaney took back her power.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=992020954197252&set=t.100001680699771&type=3
On Facebook, Brittaney expressed her gratitude for all of the love and support she’s received since she posted her open letter to her ex. She said that what started out as just her trying to get some stuff off her chest turned into a viral post and she’s been blessed that she has been able to help and touch so many people. She says that her primary goal is to help others in any way that she can because no one should ever feel that they’re not good enough. Brittaney acknowledges that no one has any control over the pain that people cause others, but we can all do our part to make sure everyone we care about knows their worth.
These days, Brittaney couldn’t be better. She’s happily engaged to a guy who looks like he positively adores everything about her. Most importantly, she’s living life to the fullest. This quote on her Facebook page says it all: “When you move, the Universe moves. When you reach, it reaches. When you stretch, it stretches. But always, you must go first.” Good job, Brittaney.
