There’s a sad reality in the life of abused children. People who are abused sometimes grow up to be abusers themselves and this vicious cycle repeats over and over. However, some people are able to find enough love and strength to rise above all of their torment and be a better and more stronger person. Some of these super-strong heroes even go on to have beautiful children of their own and in some special cases, they adopt children who have been abused. Adopting an abused child takes its own kind of strength because you have to be strong enough not only to carry your child through the tough trials of life, but also to teach them how to heal and break their own cycles. In the story below, you’ll see a beautiful example of what can happen when the cycle of healing begins. We don’t know if this is a true story, but it’s making the rounds on the internet and via email right now. Enjoy this story.
I was abused greatly by my dad. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. In fact, my earliest memory is of my dad abusing me (Yes, I am a guy).
Can you imagine that? Never being able to know what innocence is like? Never having a childhood?
Anyway, This all went on until I was 9 and finally someone reported the abuse. I was taken away from my parents pretty much as soon as CPS showed up at the door to investigate.
Over the years I was passed around from foster home to foster home and began to realize that no one wants to adopt an older kid with the background I have. Everyone wants a cute little baby.
I gave up on ever being adopted. (Forever alone!!! Which hurt, because all I wanted was a family. A family full of love, rather than the foster homes that simply just put up with me or occasionally beat me. Until I got big enough to fight back…).
Fast forward to 18 years old. I never was adopted. I was out on my own now. Working as a bank teller. In walks this beautiful girl. I mean, so beautiful that I was practically drooling. The kind that is so hot, you think there is no way in a million years that she would ever like you.
She came to my window and did her business. I flirted a bit, but she ignored it. Until the end when I asked if there is anything else I can do for her.
She said, “Yeah, you could give me your number”.
Needless to say, she got it.
We dated and eventually got married. What a great day that was. We decided we wanted to have a baby and we tried and tried.
She wouldn’t get pregnant though. We went to the doctor trying to find out if anything was wrong and sadly, she just wasn’t able to get pregnant.
We went home sad, even crying a bit. That night she came to me and brought up the idea of adoption. I had been thinking about it but was waiting to bring it up as a possibility until some of the heartaches went away.
I think she knew I would love the idea though, considering where I came from.
We talked and decided that we were not going to have a predetermination about what we wanted. Boy or girl, no matter the age, if we clicked, we clicked.
We finally found a beautiful little girl. 7 years old. A similar background to mine. Only she was just taken away from her parents a few months before.
We got along great. But at the same time, she was very scared. Which I understood. New place, new people. Not sure what to expect.
I remember she was extra careful to mind her P’s and Q’s for the first long while. But a part of that was her afraid to come out of her shell and be herself, for fear of rejection.
Gradually she started relaxing but she was not calling us mom or dad yet.
As she started coming out of her shell, she eventually did something to get in trouble. I can’t even remember what it was she did now.
So, I am getting after her and she realizes there is going to be a punishment, her lip starts quivering and she begins to cry like a baby and starts pulling her pants off.
I asked her ” Sweetheart what are you doing?” She looked at me and said, “You’re going to punish me.”
So, I asked her why she was taking her pants (and underwear) off. I am not sure why I asked, my own background told me what was going on. Crying and looking slightly confused she said “Aren’t you going to put your thingy in me? I’ll be good if you don’t, I promise! It hurts too bad. Please?” Her lower lip quivering the whole time, looking absolutely terrified.
Poor thing thought she was going to be punished with rape! My heart broke for her.
I told her to put her pants back on and she was still crying (my wife watching to see how I would handle it.) I hugged her and held her and told her that I would never ever do anything like that to her.
I remember saying “Honey, I love you and you are so precious. You are safe here, I promise you.”
Then she started crying again! I asked what was wrong and she shook her head and looked at me and said ” I love you too, Daddy” and she gave me the biggest and most warm hug.
Needless to say, I started crying too. That was the happiest moment of my life. The first time my daughter told me she loved me AND called me daddy.
She is now 10 years old. Grows more beautiful every day and is truly happy. Now, we are ALL truly happy.
I have my girls now. My angels…But most important…I finally have my family. 🙂
