A long time ago, I started this trend in my family. I decided that we were naming all of our pets “people names.” No Rover or Kitty or anything like that. We’ve had dogs named Barbie and Sheldon, and we’ve had cats named Bernie, Natalie, Rachel, Paris, Elizabeth, and more. It’s a lot of fun to think up new and interesting names for our pets. It’s certainly more interesting than Fluffy or Rover, isn’t it? My kids have continued this trend with their own pets. My daughter named her cat “Nila” (a name I’d never heard of before), but Nila has a nickname: Kitty. So after all of these years, yes, we have a cat named Kitty. Who knew? Enjoy the hilarious joke about pet names below.
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Boy.” I call mine “Sex.”
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one too.” Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said, “You must have been quite a kid!”
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, “Every room in the place is for sex.” I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too.”
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on T.V.” He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “Me too.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I said, “I’m looking for Sex.”
My case comes up Friday.
