One of the most frustrating jobs a person could have is working in customer service. It doesn’t matter if you are helping people at a restaurant or helping them to iron out some technological problems over the phone, they are going to do something that frustrates you from time to time. At times, they may even anger you and they tend to lose their temper very quickly. Although we have to hold our tongue when it comes to dealing with these people, there are times that we just want to lose it and let them know exactly how we feel. That is what happened in this fictional story that you will love.
Me: “Microsoft Office computer assistance; may I help you?”
Customer:”Yes, well, I’m having trouble with Word.”
Me:”What sort of trouble?”
Customer:”Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Me:”Went away?”
Customer:”They disappeared.”
Me:”Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Customer:”Nothing.”
Me:”Nothing?”
Customer:”It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Me:”Are you still in Word, or did you get out?”
Customer:”How do I tell?”
Me: [Uh-oh. Well, let’s give it a try anyway.] “Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?”
Customer:”What’s a sea-prompt?”
Me: [Uh-huh, thought so. Let’s try a different tack.] “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
Customer:”There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
Me:[Ah–at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he’s kicked out his/her monitor’s power plug.] “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
Customer:”What’s a monitor?”
Me:”It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Customer:”I don’t know.”
Me:”Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
Customer:[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] “Yes, I think so.”
Me:”Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
Customer:[pause] “Yes, it is.”
Me:[Hmm. Well, that’s interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don’t want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don’t know what kind of monitor s/he has and it’s bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
Customer:”No.”
Me:”Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Customer:[muffled] “Okay, here it is.”
Me:”Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Customer:[still muffled] “I can’t reach.”
Me:”Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
Customer:[clear again] “No.”
Me:”Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
Customer:”Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle –it’s because it’s dark.”
Me:”Dark?”
Customer:”Yes–the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Me:”Well, turn on the office light then.”
Customer:”I can’t.”
Me:”No? Why not?”
Customer:”Because there’s a power outage.”
Me:”A power–!?! …[AAAAAAARGH!] A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
Customer:”Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Me:”Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Customer:”Really? Is it that bad?”
Me:”Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Customer:”Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
Me:”Tell them you’re TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!” [slam]
