A long time ago, in another life (a sad and depressing one), I worked for the state government at a hospital. I went in all gung-ho, ready to do a good job for my state and make a difference. Wrong. Not only did anyone there want to make a difference, they straight up told me that if I worked too hard, it made them look bad. I was actually unpopular because I took pride in my work. Seriously. To make matters worse, because we were state-funded, we had to follow some rules that didn’t make practical business sense. We had to buy from certain businesses, even if it wasn’t the best value or the best service. One example is that we had to buy these worthless felt-tip pens because a particular organization made them. It made no sense to me. It seemed like a waste of taxpayer dollars. I was happy to get out of there, truly. In the joke below, the little boy totally nails the waste that goes on in government.
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”
“Very good,” said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
“I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”
“Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “I made $2,467,” he said.
“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”
“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.
“Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip and Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”
They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog crap!”
Then I would say, “It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”
“I used the government’s approach of giving you something crappy for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth.”
