When my husband and I got married, we paid for all of it ourselves and it was paid for well in advance. It wasn’t the most extravagant wedding in the world, but it wasn’t cheap, either. We worked hard to make it exactly what we wanted it to be and we created a lot of beautiful memories for us, our family, and our friends. On our wedding website and on our invitations, we said that gifts weren’t necessary but if someone wanted to give us a small token, we had created an Amazon wish list of some items we’d love to have. See, it was a literary wedding with a book cake and book decorations and our gift list included mugs with Shakespearean quotes and things like that. I thought it was tasteful. I can’t imagine expecting my guests to pay for my wedding as the bride in the story below did. Check out this text exchange and the resulting letter from her friend.
Transcript:
“Here is my card. Now I did not go to your wedding for free… I sure hope that this helps you with our ‘bills’ … I did not realize that I was a price tag to you at your wedding. I also did not realize that by not giving you a cash gift, you would feel as though I attended your wedding ‘for free’ I have known you for ten years now and I cannot believe that you would not just appreciate my sharing the biggest day of your life with you.l had actually managed to set cash aside for your gift but considering your tacky, hurtful and disgraceful comments earlier, I decided that this amount was more appropriate to give to you.
… to you I have always remained loyal to you and I cannot believe that all you see when you look at me is a few more dollars. Here is an idea: if you cannot afford a wedding, then do not have one. If you cannot pay your bills by yourself, then do not bring a child in to this world, do not go on vacations and finally, do not dare make your friends/family feel financially responsible for your decisions/parties/extravagances. Even if I became a millionaire tomorrow, I would rather hop off a cliff than attend your baby shower but thank you for being so concerned for me, that you gave me the option of uninviting myself due to my current financial situation. Never mind that I was one of the first ones to find out about your pregnancy, never mind that I cried my eyes out when I saw your first sonogram and never mind that I’ve tried to remain a supportive, loving friend by keeping your secrets to myself. I did not predict that I would be laid off last month, nor did I predict having to pay out of pocket for my schoolbooks and instead of being a supportive friend, you demanded more money out of me. I cannot believe that this is the person that you truly are a greedy, self-centered and cruel woman. How dare you treat people like this? What is wrong with you? I am enraged, disgusted, hurt and embarrassed by you: so much so that I do not look at you. That is why I left this letter at your house instead. I do not want to hear from you again. This straw broke the camel’s back. I wish you well and I hope that this serves as a learning experience for you – you just lost a childhood friend because your eyes saw nothing but green.
Ps. According to Celebrity wedding planner Sharon Sacks, “weddings are a wonderful time to share with family and friends. The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand. There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding. Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it’s certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift. There is a disgusting trend emerging where people are not only passing judgment about the gifts they receive, but they are verbalizing it. It’s classless and tacky.”
Source: Imgur
