We live on a working cattle ranch that’s owned by my parents, who raise cattle. One thing that’s done routinely around here is artificial insemination, where the cowboys impregnate the female cows with insemination from the bulls. My parents also sell the product to cattle breeders all over the world who will pay top dollar to have their cows inseminated artificially by these prize-winning bulls. I think for a long time my kids were confused when they heard this being discussed and one day my little boy, who had an inquiring mind, asked if that’s how people have babies, too. I wanted so bad to tell him yes to just keep him innocent for a little bit longer, but alas, he was a farm kid, and they learn about life a little earlier. You’ll enjoy the joke below. This little guy reminds me of my son.
A farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy opened the door. “Is your dad home?” the rancher asked.
“No sir, he isn’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”
“Well,” said the rancher, “is your mother here?”
“No sir, she’s not here, either. She went into town with Dad.”
“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”
“No, sir, he went with Mom and Dad.”
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” the boy asked politely. “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad.”
“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your dad. It’s about your brother, Howard, getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”
The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to Pa about that,” he finally conceded. “If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.”
