Have you ever been in a hurry while grocery shopping? There have been times that I’ve rushed in to buy literally one thing and not even grabbed a buggy. Then, as I approach the express lane, I see a person there unloading their cart and they clearly have far more than the “10 items or less” limit that the store gently tries to enforce. So I stand there with my one bag of coffee waiting for 10 minutes while this person counts out coupons and quarters, and I can see the clock ticking by. Meanwhile, I glance over at the regular lanes and see them flowing more quickly than that so-called express lane. It’s annoying as can be. What’s even more annoying is the selfish people who insist on abusing the whole concept of the express lane. In the story below, we’re not sure if this really happened, but wouldn’t it be priceless if it did?
This woman whose cart was overflowing almost runs me over to get in front of me at the 10 items line. The woman starts to unload her cart onto the checkout stand and the cashier says, ‘Which ten items would you like, ma’am?”
The woman stops and says, “What?”
The cashier responds in a calm, patient tone, “This is a ten items or less express line.”
While speaking she holds up both hands showing all ten fingers. Then she pointed to the sign above the lane which reads “Ten Items or Less” in both English and Spanish.
The woman gets all red in the face and says, “I want all of this!”
The cashier, “Ma’am, I’m sorry. As I said, this is a ten items or less line, please choose the ten items you’d like to purchase today.”
The woman at this point lets out this noise that sounds like someone poked one of those screaming goats and shoved her still overflowing cart as hard as she could. It almost hit this little old man sitting on a bench. Then she gave all of us who were laughing at her the finger, said “F*** you!” and stormed out.
I purchased my items and tipped the cashier a $20 for the best improv comedy moment I’d seen in years.
