Kids say the darndest things. I love to tell a story about when I was a kid in school. I was raised by hippies, and I grew up in a home where there was a lot of partying. My stepdad loved a good time and my mom loved to tease him about it. One day at school, our teacher went around the circle asking us to share what our dads did for a living. Mimicking what I had often heard at home, I said, “My dad is a wino and a woman chaser.” I’ll never forget the silence that came over that room. It’s a story my family loves telling to this day. Kids have a great sense of humor without even realizing it and they always repeat what they hear at home. The great thing about the joke below is that it really shows a female soldier in a powerful light. Love it!
The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment. The assignment was to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
Susie said “We live on a farm and I was collecting eggs from the hen house one day. I gathered the eggs and put them in my basket and set off running toward the house. While running I tripped over a rock and smashed all of the eggs.”
“So what’s the moral of the story Susie?” Asked the teacher.
“Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket,” said Susie.
Next, it was Billy’s turn to go.
“We also live on a farm,” said Billy. “We have incubators to help our eggs hatch. One night there was a thunderstorm and lightning knocked out the power to the incubators.”
“So what’s the moral of that story Billy?” Asked the teacher.
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” said Billy.
The teacher turned to Janie. “Janie, do you have a story to share?’
“Yes, ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
“Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”
“He said don’t mess with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”
