There are some religions that would require you to confess your sins to the religious leader when you have committed them. Perhaps you have done so in the past, but most people who find themselves in the situation either skip the confessional or they reduce the severity of what they have done. As it turns out, it can also be an opportunity to make things work in your own favor, and the little boy in the following joke does a perfect job of it. You may never look at the confessional in the same way again!
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have slept with a woman of ill reputation.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And, who was the woman you were with?”
“I can’t be tellin’ you, Father. I don’t want to rat her out.”
“Well, Tommy, I’m sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Patricia Kelly?”
“I’ll never tell”
“Was it Liz Shannon?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t name her.”
“Was it Cathy Morgan?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Fiona McDonald, then?”
“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now.”
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
“Three month’s vacation and five good leads!”
