For all of my life, I’ve been an animal lover and have had all manner of pets. I’ve had pet rats, hamsters, gerbils, snakes and lizards, sugar gliders, and all kinds of other pets, both domesticated and exotic. However, in recent years (since I had kids), I’ve kept it to dogs and cats. I just don’t have time for all of the care and upkeep involved it he more exotic pets. There’s enough work with just dogs and cats. However, dogs and cats are very different. Our dogs are so eager to please. There’s nothing they won’t do to try to get us to smile or lavish them with adoration and praise. And then there are the cats. Every single cat we have has its own unique personality and its own agenda. You just never know what’s going on in their heads. This funny mock diary comparing a dog and a cat is perfect. Enjoy!
The Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The difference between dogs and cats is like night and day. Forge ahead to see what the cat wrote.
The Cat’s Diary
Day 987…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is either succumbing to Stockholm syndrome or really stupid. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
Featured image: Bruno Cervera and Pixabay, via Pexels