In his play “Much Ado About Nothing,” the great William Shakespeare wrote, “Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.” When we lose someone we love, it causes deep sorry. But if that person dies unexpectedly and before their time, it’s particularly devastating. There are some losses that are so profound that they almost can’t be measured. Can you imagine losing the love of your life and your child, all at once? A man named Lorne who didn’t share his last name posted on Facebook a story about loss and an event that happened to him. It wasn’t an easy story to tell, but it wasn’t supposed to be. Nevertheless, it’s his story. Below, you’ll read about loss and love and the redeeming power of forgiveness.
“I lost my son and wife, 33 years ago to a horrible accident. They were hit head-on by a seven-time convicted drunk driver.
For three years, I was a complete mess. I couldn’t hold a job. I was not fit company to be with other people. I grieved tremendously. I still do.
But one day I was given advice that transformed me.
A prison priest told me to consider visiting the man in prison who had killed my wife and child. I thought it was a crazy idea, but I was desperate for some sort of hope of closure.
It took me a year to work up the courage to face the man. But I did it. And what I saw and felt in that interaction changed me forever.
The man begged me for my forgiveness. And after hearing his story, I did forgive him. What drove him to alcohol in the first place was the death of his own seven-year-old child to cancer. He vowed that if I could find it in my heart to forgive him for what he did, he would never drink another drop of alcohol in his life.
I’ve kept in touch with the man, and to this day, he has not touched alcohol again. He put his life back together, and he inspired me to do the same.
I can tell you … the minute that I offered my forgiveness, a weight was lifted on my shoulders that felt like ten tons.”
I will miss my son and my wife until the day that I die. But I went on to marry again, a woman who stands beside me whenever I visit those graves. A woman who has delivered two daughters that did not replace my first child, but who have brought me endless joy, a joy so profound that it has helped ease my pain.
So, my advice for everyone who thinks that things can’t ever be better, is to forgive. Forgive others, and forgive yourself. This is the only way to move on.”
