Do you like to fly? As a young person, I loved it. I can remember the first time I flew on a plane. I was still a teenager and it was so exciting to me. The most fun parts were the takeoff and landings, but the turbulence and bumps in the air were pretty fun, too. The same kind of fun that roller coasters offer. However, I don’t like roller coasters anymore and I feel about the same when it comes to air travel. I have to fly sometimes and I do it, but I don’t love it. I’m acutely aware of how vulnerable we are up there in the air, and I’m hyper-aware of the mortality rates of people who are in plane crashes. So these days, I don’t love to fly anymore. I don’t exactly get terrified, but suffice to say if the pilot or a flight attendant says anything even remotely weird, I’m alert to it. I even look around to see if anyone else looks nervous. Miraculously, no one ever meets my eyes, so I’m thinking it’s just me. Are these people crazy? We’re all gonna die!!! OK, a bit dramatic. But if you’re the guy in the story below, you’d feel the same way. Just try to put yourself in his shoes, but do yourself a favor: don’t put yourself in his seat.
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and… OH… MY GOD!”
Silence followed… complete silence!
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!”
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled…
“For the luvva Jaysus… you should see the back of mine!”
