Bullying is one of the most horrifying things that are going on in our society today. Bullying can be done by kids or adults, but children bullying other children is problematic because to children, the approval of their peers is usually more significant than the approval of adults. To be bullied and shamed is extremely traumatic and causes permanent damage to a child’s psyche. A man named Matt Cox found out his daughter was bullying another student on the school bus, and he had a punishment for her. Cox is taking a lot of criticism from people online not because he’s punishing the child, but because of the matter in which he’s doing it.
Cox shot the first video. He explains that his 10-year-old daughter has been kicked off of the school bus for three days twice in the same year for bullying another student. He explained that when his daughter brought home her school paperwork, she told her dad that he would have to be taking her to school. He says that he explained to her that anything a parent does for a child is a privilege and not necessarily a right. So to illustrate that point to her, he’s making her walk to school. Here’s the problem with that. The family lives five miles from the school, and the weather is 36 degrees.
Just to be clear, he is following behind her in his car, watching her. Cox didn’t put her out there and tell her to start walking by herself. So she’s safe from predators, at least. Watch below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rdd01CYIPc&feature=emb_title
The video below is a news commentary on what’s going on with the criticism that Cox is getting. It also includes an interview with Cox. The debate is whether or not her punishment is tough love or going too far. He explains that he thinks parents need to hold their kids accountable. He says that bullying is unacceptable in his household. His little girl says that she’s been bullied, too, a lot, and it made her sad. Other parents are saying that Cox’s punishment for his little girl is “bullies bullying the bully.” People in a panel interview disagreed on the issue. Some said that the punishment was acceptable, but that posting the video online added another element to the punishment, one of shaming. Even the women advocating for the dad’s rights as a parent agreed that the video should have never been posted online.
Cox stands by his method of punishment, saying, “Lesson learned. Still has all her extremities intact and is happy and healthy and seems to have a new outlook on bullying.” Is this tough love, or is it the “bully bullying the bully”? I’m typically reluctant to criticize or judge another parent’s methods unless it’s clearly abuse. This issue is complicated because we all know the seriousness of bullying. Kids commit suicide every year in America because of bullying. What I can say is that I would have handled this situation differently.
First of all, empirical research has shown that most bullies are created because they’ve been bullied. Maybe they’ve been bullied by other kids and school, or perhaps they’ve been bullied at home. I can speak from experience on this issue. My son was a victim of bullying, and at one point a year or so later, I found out that he was bullying a little girl in his class. What I did was make him buy the little girl an appropriate gift and give it to her in front of the class with an apology that consisted of, “I was wrong for how I treated you, and I’m sorry.” Oh boy, he did not want to do this. But he did it. He’s 19 years old now, and I can tell you that he’s a caring, responsible, empathetic young man. I can also report that he never again, to my knowledge, bullied another child. Over time, he evolved into a child who confronted bullies who were bullying other kids.
Matt Cox, via YouTube
If I had bullied him or humiliated my son as a punishment, would he have turned out differently? Would it have affected him in some way and made him more damaged? I honestly don’t know. I just know I’d not do things any differently if I had it to do over. Parenting is complicated. Most of us just do the best we can. I hope Mr. Cox’s little girl is OK and that she has learned the importance of love and empathy for other people.
